Author’s note–This is still in rough form but very meaningful to me. Revisions may occur later this evening.

letter from charlotte

let me tell you when they say
it gets better
that’s bullshit so let’s
get that out of the way
so now that that’s done i’m
going to talk to you
straight no chaser
(even though the two of us
no longer speak that language)
i’ve dreamed of you
tubes crawling like snakes
from your body and me here
four thousand miles from
your side; you were always second
it’s true
and it’s true that i always wanted to be
second and have you first but
trophies aren’t won by
those of us chasing our tails.

so i’ll keep talking and
what i’m saying here is
that i watched the moon tonight
looming like a gravepost
filled with chalk that flies away
with the slightest breath
and i thought of you
thought of you there
in a care that is hardly intensive
you laying there with
fraudulent family and crooks
with licenses staring you down and
you’re right! the tests are all bullshit
just as that bullshit about it gets better
is bullshit

but let me tell you this:
it won’t get better but
just as the sun appears unexpected
during a storm like the joker
in a card deck in an uneven hand
it will be something
that isn’t this and i will
be there soon, on wings that i’ve grown
for you because blood is blood
that simple
and we can rest in silence
without the millstones of conversation
to drag us down.